What is a Best Friend..

I found this question on an older post on another site I tend to read regularly. Asking us to leave a comment about what a best friend is or what a best friend means to us.. And I thought.. ya know I should just post on this.. Cause the topic.. or "best friends" is so fresh and relevant to me right now.

A little back ground. Not only.. am I going through a Divorce right now.. But I am also Mourning 2 best friendships really.. Mostly one.. But the other has just become incredibly awkward for the next little while. And come to think of it has been distant for the last couple years.

Divorce really stirs the pot.. on life and friendships. Kind of seems like people seem to feel they have to chose a side. When really.. "picking" a side is no ones place or business. All the problems and animosity are between to 2 people getting divorced, NOT all the by standers.

I guess.. Ben was my Best Friend. So he is Number one. #2 shall remain nameless, along with #3. Ben I am chosing not to discuss right now. Cause it is all personal. And I'm sure someone would have something horrible to say about me talking about my personal life on the god forsaken internet. of all places... I hate judgemental people.

But Best Friend #2.. We have known each other 20 years. (and I HATE to say that.. cause it makes me feel old!) been BF for 15 of those years. And just in August, she declared our friendship over. Which has started to make me question wether or not she ever really was a BF to me.. or if I was always just there for her.. But really it isn't about all that, cause in a friendship you don't keep track of who did this or that, or paid for this or that.. or who was there for who, at whatever hard point in life. I enjoyed and love every moment of being her friend and spending life with her. And I am not allowing myself to go through and re-hash and try to figure out where it went wrong, or how I could have been a better friend and kept it together longer.. It is.. just another Divorce I have to mentally deal with.. Thankfully you don't have to legally divorce a best friend.. :) But it is sad that it can just be abrupbtly ended at the worst moment in my life to this day.. Cause it was with in the same week of Ben and I ending our marriage.. Let me tell you that was a BAD Horrible.. nasty week.

Then with #3.. I am hoping it is just another season of our friendship. We have been through dry spots before.. and sprung back when the time was right. She is a true friend with the sweetest spirit. It would be too hard for us to be close right now. But I don't see this as an end. I do just wish I could talk to her... But now.. just isn't the time.

Best Friends and me.. have not been the best relationships in my life. Maybe I am still learning to be a real honest true friend.. I think it is because I haven't allowed myself to really know myself. If that makes any sense at all.. Family aside. I have 2 Best Friends in my life right now.. that are truely amazing! No matter what I do.. or how I mess up.. they seem to always be there. In a weird way.. they are showing Christ to me again.. which is so needed and so necessary. I'll Name them Peas and Carrots.. They are both Friends that I know.. without a shadow of a doubt that they will never leave me.. never call it off.. never go a year without checking up on me.. They are my Best Friends. They are both so different.. SO DIFFERENT. But I think that is how it should be. I am the same person, the same Natalie with each one, but they both tend to bring out different things in me, all good things.

So I guess to me a Best Friend is some one who won't judge you or look down on you no matter what happens in life, no matter what you do to make your life worse or better. Someone who truely Loves you, almost to the point of being God like. A true unconditional love. No matter how fat or how skinny you get.. no matter what you eat or drink.. or how you cook your food.. or how big or small your earrings are... or how instyle or out of style your shoes are... or if you wear granny sweaters:) A Best Friend is trust worthy, whatever you share together stays there in that place and goes no where else. wether you said it drunk or sober.. it is never repeated. EVER. A BF is some one you can count on.. someone who will BE there, and won't say you have other friends who can take care of you.. But they WANT and feel the NEED to be THAT friend who will be there to give you the first HUG! Be the First phone call, text, email and comment(or even snail mail). A BF knows when your holding back.. they are a person who you can't keep something from.. you can't tell part of the story.. you have to give every intriket detail.. therwise they will bleed it from you painfully :) But a BF is also somewhoe who can speak words of truth into your life, and say it isn't all about the fun and games, that you need to pull yourself together, or tell you life IS worth living. A BF is someone who can tell you to keep going.. and going until you finally believe you will keep going and life will go on. A BF is your personal preacher, cheerleader, youth leader, babysitter(when needed), stylist, shopper, therapist and at times the puzzle peice putter back together of your broken heart. And so much more.


Thank you to all my Best Friends in life.. even the ones that have moved on. You got me through certain areas in my life, that have helped me to get where I am today. And Today, is a good pleace to be.

~Natalie