two sides

There is a balance with everything..

I think if you're overly zealous with anything really you are out of balance, and probably need to get off your high horse.

As an Atheist, I do my best to not project what I don't believe on people. And I make sure that on Facebook I don't say too much, because I don't want to step on peoples toes.. But seems like all the 'believers' post all sorts of god related things most days, about thanks and prayer and how awesome god is and how trials in life make you stronger because of god or something. I know all the christianese talk and statements and can still quote most of the versus i memorized through out my life.

It would be nice if 'believers', 'followers', 'christians'. could also keep what they believe at a minimum like they would like me to..  Since both of us seem to believe the other person is wrong..

Tonight I was just around FB and Twitter checking up on people I haven't heard from for awhile, some I once talked to a ton. It is interesting that when people decide that you are making a wrong choice in life, or that its something they may not approve of, that they distance themselves.

Maybe they feel I have distanced myself, but friendship is a two way street..

Some people amazed me at my mom's funeral and with their giving and help, and for checking up on me. It was extra hard then cause I didn't want to talk about it with anyone. and I still have a hard time.

But what hurt the most.. was that friends from my past who didn't acknowledge my mom's death or bother sending or re-sending a card if an address was wrong.. or even calling me when they found out, even if it was a few weeks late, cause everything happened so fast, or even the year before when things started to get bad and I sent out an email.. and no replies from people I was once so close with.. people that were at my house Sunday after Sunday, people my mom made lunch and dinner for on a weekly, monthly bases.. people that came to my birthdays from 13 to 22, people who were in my first wedding, people I went on road trips with or to visit... people I loved. and people I thought would give two shits about me or my mom. people who are believers.. church planters.. pastors.. church leaders.. elders..  worship leaders... so called friends..

To those people.. your actions have spoke volumes. and when your parents, siblings, children have cancer.. or some life threatening disease.. and are ill or die, my actions will speak too, cause i will call or message or text, cause i have been there and I now know how it is.. and because I am not as cold as you were, in my time of hurt and darkness.

And I won't come because I have to prove my faith or my friendship, I will because that is who I am, I care. I won't forget about you, because you all are in all my childhood, teenage memories. And I loved those years, we all change, we all grow up and grudges aren't worth holding. But feelings and thoughts are always worth expressing, so here they are.

I don't write this to offend or manipulate or scold .. just to vent and write it somewhere, to get it out, so i stop stewing and can release myself and forgive.

~NatalieKay