Life

Asia's Benefit was this past Sunday, it went quite well, Can't believe she's been gone so long, but yet not THAT long really..and it's Tuesday, which was typically my first day with Asia at work every week, and the last morning she was alive.. Tuesdays in my life have always been and will continue to remain special to me..

My Mom has been consuming my mind, now. .. more then ever, She has been fighting a liver disease for the last 10 years, so he body already doesnt detox as well as a healthy one would. So since cancer was found in her body this year.. chemo has been out of mind, assuming her body would not be able to detox that poison out. But we have come to a point now.. where .. it is , what's left to do. So tomorrow afternoon, we will begin this part of the journey, a part we hadn't really anticipated and actually tired incredibly hard to avoid.

I am incredibly thankful, thankful for my relationship with my heavenly father, without him.. i wouldnt be leaving my bed. without him, i would be lost in the depression that is trying to creep into the fringes of my spirit. Fear is right there beside me, I have to constantly give it to God. I can't be there, I can't stay in the place of fear... or worry.. or dread..

Just like with Asia.. I have to find the hope and the good things in this trial.

I feel SO human.. one minute I pray and hope for a miracle, and in the very next i doubt it. I believe and then I don't. But one thing.. I have faith in God's plan. .. I know this wasn't originally in his plans.. but he brings good out in even the WORST of circumstances.. his plans and ways are always higher then ours.

One life lesson that I think we continuously learn over and over again in our lifetime.. is to enjoy every moment.. every hour.. every conversation. And to spend time, quality time with those that truly matter. and those you unconditionally love.

many prayers of healing and protection and hope and strength for tomorrow.
Thank you!
~Natalie