The Scarlet Letter and Boobs

I have started to feel like my tattoo on my wrist is like a scarlet letter.. Like a permanent thing to continually remind me of how far i was from God last year, I haven't decided if this is a good or bad thing to remember but it is there and I do think about it a lot. At least its Pretty.. :P

On another note what has been on my mind for the last 14 days... is my mom. She was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and will be having surgery tomorrow morning. We are asking for no flowers or cards.. her cats will just eat the flowers and cards would be better appreciated as gift cards for 5 dollars for groceries, cause she won't be working for atleast the next 6 weeks.

I am still in shock. yesterday was the only day I had to work this week before the surgery and pretty much overdosed on caffeine to mentally make it threw the day. 2 cokes and a latte are kind of too much to handle on two pancakes and a piece of pizza. I'm sure I'm in for a head ache today .. I am glad I am where I am in life NOW.. last year I could have never endured this kind of stress on top of what I was already going threw, and putting myself threw.

Posting this is hard enough, kind of like just talking about it all.. it is accepting that this is all really happening.. i don't like seeing my mom like this.. it reminds me of all she went threw with all my surgeries. It is heart wrenching to see someone you love in pain and tired. but strong enough to know they need help and to ask for it. I love my mom so very much, i feel like the word LOVE isn't enough.

Hayden and Grandma. Grandma and Hayden. they are an amazing pair, they see the very most of each other in a week. I wonder how he will do away from her. I'm sure we will be visiting her whenever we possibly can. So if there are any other grandma's (or wanna be's or kid loving friends) out there that want to help out on a tues, thurs or saturday please feel free to track me down!!

I'm a bit of a Zombie lately.. but i think it is to be expected. like for instance this short post took me an hour to write.

Prayers are VERY welcome!

~Natalie