Life long lesson

Lately those questions.. why do i do the things i do? and who do I do them for?.. have been in my head a lot.

I think most of my life I have been too focused on other people and what they want or need... and how I can help them, then me.. I get put on the back burner.. which mostly just gets me burnt out.

Working on changing that IS WORK.

It's like changing your whole view of the world around you.

Ive always been a giver, and not that there is anything "wrong" with that, but it hurts to just give and give and give and never get anything back.

Every relationship needs to be give and take. That's what makes them work properly.

I have begun to learn to say no more, and not get stepped on so much. . . or "used"

Starting to think about what I can actually get done in a day and not over load myself. Prioritizing.. in a healthier form. I really like the friends I have right now. They are true, and not fake.

Off the subject...
It's still hard to be around Ben. We had the preschool open house tonight. That's the first thing we have really done together.. for a year. I hope someday it's not weird. I hope someday all the hurt doesnt flood back. but to be honest.. I had to hold the tears back a couple times... 7 years was a long time to be with someone. I'm not sure I'll fully heal until I'm with the next person longer, then I was with Ben. Baby steps.

I can do this, I am capable alone, I am Lovable.

~Natalie